One year and counting...

Hailey-Day 1 - July 1st 2008, Crestwood NICU

Hailey-1 year!- June 30th, 2009

I saw a brand new baby at the store today. The poor mother obviously still recovering, riding in a motorized cart, while grandma held the new baby. I suddenly had this overwhelming sentimental feeling for Hailey, so I apologize, but this is going to be pretty sappy. I can't believe that we were there just one year ago. It is amazing at how much Hailey has grown in such a short amount of time. I took a picture of her asleep before getting her up on her birthday- sleeping just as she has since she was born. Only now she is a big girl! Today taking a sippy cup on her own like a pro!

Not only has Hailey grown-but I have to. Responsibility and unselfishness are now words in my vocabulary and in my behavior.

I've been trying to pack up bottles, since we are in full force sippy cup training, I laugh at how little I knew about them getting into this! I had no idea there were different types of bottles and nipples and that I needed to try a bunch to see what Hailey would take to. But the one thing I learned the most about-formula! I wish someone would have told me how to try new formulas and what might work the best for a cranky baby and that it is Okay to bottle feed with formula! Leaving the hospital we were told to absolutely do not give her a bottle! (Although she had been bottle fed in the NICU for a week!) It would have saved us a lot of uncontrollable crying. And it may sound simple but the thing I have learned most... not to listen to other people's bad advice against my own intuition!

I almost can't remember family life without her and I have loved watching all of her new explorations that happen everyday! We have made it a year and we celebrated BIG! I've heard a lot that she wouldn't remember her first birthday party-yes, I know that. But there were days I wasn't sure we would ever get here, and I remember. I remember multiple doctors telling me that it would be almost impossible to get pregnant without help-if at all. I remember being so miserable all the time but telling myself it would be worth it if I could get pregnant. I remember being so scared as my baby was rushed to NICU after an urgent c-section. I remember the first time I saw her, I couldn't hug or hold her, I could only touch her little pinky for a few minutes while she struggled to breathe. I remember staying up every night with her for months while she cried uncontrollably, walking the one short hall in our house-over and over, worried sick because there was nothing I could do to make her feel better and sleep well. I remember all of the days with little or no help, sleep deprived and emotional.

But occasionally... I remember her falling asleep on my chest or in my arms, it was the only time she would smile for the first few months. I remember being so proud of her as she found her toes, learned to crawl, and took off walking! I am proud of her today drinking from a sippy cup like a big girl... But she still talks to angels, and it is a reminder of how perfect she is and how lucky I am to have her. So here's to us and our first year as a family!!!!